Top Ten Ways to Pretend You’re Outdoorsy

TOP 10 WAYS TO PRETEND YOU'RE OUTDOORSY

10. Wear a technical jacket casually

There is no jacket that is too technical to be worn casually. Let people assume your GORE-TEX shell is for alpine mountaineering, and not just to brave the brief stretch of rain between your car and Jimmy Johns.

9. Put National Parks stickers on your car

If you can't afford a Jeep or a Subaru Outback, this is your next best option. Keep in mind, you don't actually have to go to any parks, you can just buy these things on the internet. Heck, I don't even know where Congaree National Park is, but you wouldn't know that if you were driving behind me.

8. "I should try cooking this over a campfire."

Say that after almost every single meal. It doesn't matter if you just got done eating a corn dog or broiled lobster tail with gnocchi in walnut butter. All that matters is that people think that you're a backcountry gourmet. Just be careful not to say it after eating sushi or ice cream.

7. Leave climbing gear in your backseat

Climbing can be an expensive sport to get into, but if you want to cut out the gym fees and training classes, just get yourself a harness, some climbing shoes, and a few big stoppers, then strew them around the backseat of your car. Get to work early and get the parking spot right by the door, so everybody can take a peek.

6. Bring your Nalgene everywhere

Outdoorsy people like to stay hydrated, and they love their Nalgenes. Here's what you do: you grab a carabiner off of the climbing gear decoration from your backseat, stick it on the loop of your Nalgene, then slap a "Hydrate or Die" sticker on the bottle. Take it everywhere.

5. Get a roof rack for your car

A roof rack implies that you like to do things. You can even get activity-specific add-ons to further tailor people's opinions of you. Maybe put a bike or luggage box on your car when you go to work on Friday. People will assume you have a big weekend planned and won't suspect the Magnum PI marathon in your immediate future.

4. Read A Walk In The Woods by Bill Bryson

Read it, and make it well known that you've read it. You should probably bring it up 2 to 3 times a day.

3. Get your hands on an ABC watch

Altimeter, Barometer, Compass. I guarantee there are more functions on the watch than you'll ever need or even figure out, but nobody needs to know that. All they'll know is that you have your finger on the very pulse of nature. Maybe ding it up a bit to make it look well worn. A couple whacks with your remote should do the trick.

2. Make your jacket smell like a campfire

Get a bonfire going in your backyard, drape your jacket over a chair and leave it for as long as it takes you to go inside and watch Turner and Hooch (1hr and 37min). After that, anybody within 10 feet of you will smell your outdoorsiness.

1. Get yourself a woodsy hat

If you ever find a trucker hat with a tree on it, buy it immediately. Wear it often and wash it never.

Moosejaw Bourbon Barrel Aged Flannels

Pitch:

Poke fun at pretentious, overly artisanal products

Copy:

For the past few years, our Senior Flannel Artisan has been hard at work on a secret project. And he always reeked of bourbon. Now we know why. We’re proud to announce the Moosejaw Bourbon Barrel Aged Flannel. Utilizing the barrel aging process, these flannels have picked up richness and complexity from the bourbon essence and barrel char. Get your hands on one of these small batch flannels to your collection before reserves run dry.

April Fools Day - Peanut, the World's Slightly Tallest Moose Statue

Pitch:

Canada and Norway were fighting for World’s Tallest Moosejaw Statue honors, with one being slightly taller than the other. So we should build one that’s even slightly taller than that. This video combines both our teaser press conference video and the launch video.

Copy:

And in the red corner, hailing from Madison Heights, Michigan, the pride of Moosejaw Mountaineering, standing 34'9" tall... He's wobbly. He's bobbly. He's the tallest moose statue on the planet. The 8th Wonder of the World. PEEEEAAAAANUTTTT!

April Fools Day - SleevTek

Pitch:

Announce we’re unveiling SleevTek, the warmest technological advancement to vests since inception. But it’s really just a jacket. We link to a collection of all Moosejaw jackets that have been renamed Vests with SleevTek. It’s a spoof on all the technology buzzwords every outdoor brand rolls out each season.

Copy

Our team of Moosejaw vest scientists recently had a technological breakthrough that we're excited to share with you. Long dismissed as a layering piece, the vest is about to take center stage. So without further ado (whatever that means) here is the greatest thing to happen to vests in decades. Behold..... SleevTek.

April Fools Day - 7-Minute Shipping

Pitch:

Announce that we're offering free 7 minute shipping (but only if you live in range of our giant slingshot)

Copy:

We’ve kept our lips sealed all throughout development, but I’m finally allowed to announce our latest shipping innovation…. Free. Seven. Minute. Shipping. (to anybody within giant slingshot range). That’s faster than you can get a pizza, for crying out loud. Our lawyers told me to tell you we’re not responsible for any damage to packages, property, people or anything else. This is the fastest shipping on the planet, so take advantage of it (provided you live in the one house within range).

Moosejaw Outerwear - The Best Reviewed Stuff Out There

Pitch:

Moosejaw Outerwear always had very high review scores, beating out the proprietary brands from the competition (it’s all relative, but the scores were really strong). So we hand-picked some good, funny reviews and re-enacted them in images and videos.

Various Promo Messaging Examples

Moosejaw Carpet Diem Campaign

The Idea was that you’d fall in love with this blanket, so we put it in classic love scenarios.

(I played the blanket)

Moosejaw x Mystery Ranch Collaboration

Pitch:

Mystery Ranch’s biggest selling feature is that they’re durable, so we decided to put them in the hands of the world’s clumsiest man.

Copy:

What better way to test the durability and functionality of our new Moosejaw x Mystery Ranch Co-lab Packs than by giving them to World’s Clumsiest Man for a week? It’s like a lifetime’s worth of wear and tear jam packed into seven trippy, fally, hit by trucky days. We’re proud to announce that all three packs stood up to the accidental carnage and are ready to withstand whatever you can throw at it.